Powdered Non Sequitur Man

Americans’ trust in government increases — who, exactly, did they ask? Because it sure as hell wasn’t me.

There’s a marvelous article on the SF Gate site today. It tells the story of eight Germans who landed in New York in 1942 nominally on a sabotage mission — one of whom called the FBI as soon as he landed, and the other seven of whom testified that they had no intention of [...]

I just realized that I bought my first PalmPilot over five years ago. Suddenly I feel old.

Someone please tell me this is a joke:
The BCC reject all forms of racism unless they are constructive. In 1986 we lifted the ban on non-whites joining our organisation.
[it goes on, but that was as much as I could stand to have on my site. More vile stuff here.] Link found via Justin.

If we drank camel milk instead of cow milk, would it come from the dromedairy?

Yet another reason to eat less fish: Soon, you’ll have to.

I have a number of items in my Palm that I must have intended to blog at some point. I think it’s more amusing, though, to enter them verbatim (I’ve added links where appropriate):
Bladdie the Bladder says, “Gotta go!” [this was on a bumper sticker I've only ever seen once]
Items:
- raisin bran “users”
- yoda [...]

More patent-infringing goodness: Added a link to The Boondocks.

From salon.com:
We have carefully reviewed the case of ACHILLES (NO SURNAME GIVEN), and regret to inform you that we are unable to pay any benefit at this time.
According to the records you provided, your son died of an arrow wound to the heel while covered by The Plan. However, the medical records you provided indicate [...]

As a rule, I don’t remember my dreams. Some time late this morning, though, I dreamt I was back at the offices of the Evil Corporate Law Firm ™, saying hi to my friends there. Malieka asked if I thought about moving back to SF (I said, “Never!”) and what it would take [...]

Recipes of the Damned — I love it.
While the recipes included in the book were all pretty alarming—after all, they have Spam in them, don’t they?—this one stood out to me. Not only does it have the soft mystery meat, it combines it with fruit cocktail, gelatin, and Miracle Whip, all substances of dubious value [...]

Well, I may be riding with Hitler a few less times this year: I’m now officially a Flexcar member. It seems pretty cool — and I’ll get to test-drive an Insight (70 mpg) and a Prius (50 mpg) at will, which should be fun.
Now if only I could figure out how to stay warm [...]

Added new links to the site: Feminist Blog, Feminist Media Watch, Grist Magazine
(Oh, and did I mention that every one of these links is patent-infringing? Woohoo!)

Has the recession got you down? Jobless? Afraid of being homeless? Well, buck up, campers, because the EPA is about to create more jobs! Yes, it’s true — they’re doing away with those pesky restrictions on human testing of crop pesticides, which means that soon, very soon, you can be paid [...]

Under the Department of Justice’s interpretation of this legislation, a computer hacker in Frankfurt Germany who hacks into a computer in Cologne Germany could be prosecuted in the Eastern District of Virginia in Alexandria if the packet of [sic] related to the attack traveled through America Online’s computers. Moreover, the United States would reserve the [...]

Now that’s what I call a portable computer. Also, this DVD recorder looks like a lot of fun — actually, it looks like a great answer to the Tivo, since there’s no monthly fee. It doesn’t download the listings for you, so you’d have to program it like a VCR, but with effectively [...]

Hey, kids! Want to make an angel ornament out of a tampon? I knew you did. Say, for some reason that reminds me of the story of how the angel got on top of the Christmas tree in the first place.

MUSEUM OFFICIAL:
Dodd! Thank heavens I could reach you today! The museum needs your help desperately and at once! We’ve lost four of our archeologists along the upper Nile - our top team was sent there to find a way to preserve the ancient Egyptian stone statures that dated back to the Old Kingdom! A new [...]

This just in: Software Patents Bad Idea
According to a lawsuit filed by British Telecommunications against Prodigy, the hyperlink is patented. Which means that by using them in my pages, I’m technically breaking the law — and so is every Web page in existence. Pretty neat, huh? Luckily, we individual citizens don’t have [...]

Saturday, 24 November 2001, 2015 approximately: I find myself in the men’s restroom of the Alhambra Safeway in Sacramento. I wash my hands in warm water and Cross Contamination Control Soap, and then dry my hands with paper towels from the Hazard Analysis Critical Control Point.
The corporate drones at Safeway must be a [...]